the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
