Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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