Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
