you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
