I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
