but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
