i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize