Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
