Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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