so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
