im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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