Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
