That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
