We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think my vagina is haunted
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
