He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
