Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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