i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
