He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
