I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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