i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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