You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize