Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
