this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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