Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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