ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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