guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
love makes seman taste better
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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