I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
