Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
