are you so shy because you have an std?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
