I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
