PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
