Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
