I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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