I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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