If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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