you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
