thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
