I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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