walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
