This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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