I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
