I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
