It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
