Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
