I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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