i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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