Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
