Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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