did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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