Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
