Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
