So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
