u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
