I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
