dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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