dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
