His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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