we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize