I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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