Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
