Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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